Is scary as hell. “Nightlife” is finished, revised, and sent to my publisher. Who, as a person, is awesome. That doesn’t change that I’m really freaked out about it. Why? Because what if it really is crap. Now, understand, I don’t think it’s crap. But I’ve been told many writers feel this way. You know “is it good enough”?
I want to believe it is. I really loved my characters, and the story. And it leaves a lot of room for more stories. Or none.
It’s not just fear though, it’s that sense of accomplishment. I followed through on something that was important to me. Ever since I could not longer work, I’ve felt useless. With no skills, an little reason to want to get out of bed. It took years for me to pull myself to a place where I did something, like Audio Drama, that also made me feel better. And I wrote a lot of audio drama. But I’m the publisher of it, so it doesn’t have the same feeling. No one needed to want what i was doing, I was just doing it.
But now, someone wants my work. I’m drained, and terrified. But elated and happy too. Weird, but not the worst feelings. And if I can do one, I can do more. And that, has a lot of purpose behind it for me!