What did I learn, from the my world blowing up? That the only way to get to the other side, is to go through it. You can’t fast track it, and just hope it’ll all be ok. You can’t force yourself to be better, you can’t force forgiveness, and you can’t force the pain to stop. So you wait. You find the things you still love, and enjoy. If you’re me, you watch Supernatural. You watch General Hospital (don’t laugh, it helps with writing). You listen to music, sometimes on repeat (like Burn from Hamilton). And you feel it. You feel that pain, no matter how deep it is. You feel it, because you can’t let it go, if you refuse to deal with it at all.
Does that mean I’m done? No. I’m still going through it. But I’ve started writing again. It’s still less than I’d done, but it’s a start. I’m leaving the house. I’m having fun with people I love. I’m living.
Don’t give up on me yet. I certainly haven’t.